The Ballad of Phil & Yukie

This is a story of East meets West
And how a fusion of both can work out for the best
It began with rock chic Yukie sat on a plane
Being clearly hit on by a man quite insane
She the demure designer quite happily alone
He the quirky Englishman with too much testosterone
But full of cheeky chat and endless persistence
He slowly broke down her steely resistance
And bit by bit, he no longer had to harry her
As love slowly broke through the language barrier
You wouldn’t say it was a likely pairing
With her endless work and his love of beer and swearing
But to his Japanese love, he was never rude
And they found a shared passion for bloody good food
So back in ’98, they pooled everything they’d got
And said bi-lingual marriage vows aboard a luxury yacht
The occasion was a legend as families would agree
And it was the only time Yukie was ever happy at sea
Off they went to Tokyo for happy married life
The eccentric Englishman and his Japanese designer wife
In creating fab rock sets, she found her true vocation
Whilst he blagged some great jobs WAY above his station
But then one day he said “I don’t want to be pushy
But I’m homesick and I’ve had my fill of sushi”
“You are clearly now a TV goddess over here
But I also love my Brit mates, chips and beer.”
So began the surprisingly successful start
Of 6 months together and 6 months apart
And to make sure Yukie didn’t fret or worry
They built her an Anglo-Japanese love nest in Surrey
Where Phil had his lonely days and nights to pass
Until Yukie came flying back to him, Virgin first class.
So though they’re twenty five years married, it’s true
They’ve probably only been together for two!
But love conquers all and deserves a celebration
For a quarter century of harmonious East West relations
So we all raise our glasses on this very special day
To our wonderful pals Phil and Yukie
Or to be more familiar – as you both can
To bastard husband and Yuki-Chan