Birthday Annals of a Bright Spark

2002. Materialised.
Indicate you prefer your milk pasteurised.

2003. 1st words got a mention.
“Mater can you explain adjectival declension?”

2004. Teething time.
Ask for your rusks in Shakespearian rhyme.

2005. First birthday tea.
Hold a seminar in existentialist philosophy.

2006. Upon reaching four.
Start a pension fund as ‘presents are such a bore.’

2007. Ice cream and jelly.
Read War and Peace while your pals watch the telly.

2008. Now we are six.
Entertain stunned adults with advanced magic tricks.

2009.  Milk teeth disappearing.
Give the school a birthday lecture on genetic engineering.

2010. Best birthday yet.
Hack the M16 website from the school internet.

2011. Outgrowing shorts and caps.
Win the Nobel Prize for school poems and raps.

2012. Age goes into double figars!
Celebrate on cruise ship with brandy and cigars.

2013. Last year in first school.
Become an icon of penguin onesie cool.

2014. Become a cinema 12A.
Sail single handed round Britain in a day.

2015. 1st teenage party –up and at ‘em!
Prefer watching Corrie whilst splitting the atom.

2016. Fourteen and bored.
Win the world’s first platinum D of E award.

2017. Where else is there to go?
First million, yacht and own TV show?

You’re quite the young man, with achievements sublime
Perhaps one day they’ll include being ready on time!