Nation of the States

Poetical US election special - 2024

An exclusive by MICH IGAN assisted casually by CALLY FORNIA

Coyly, in one corner we have Kamala and her pALABAMA. Many say she’s as FLORIDA person as you could wish to meet. She’s a sassy lady but KANSAS alone carry her to the White House? Especially when opinions about how she’ll cope run sOHIOverhere amongst seasoned campaigners.

Pacing the other corner is Trump blowing his own trumpet. With his fluster and bluster, ILLINOIS many people. Some feel he lacks subtlety and etiquette - and seriously, how CONNECTICUT not be a key part of the Presidency? Not everybody is sure about what he’ll do and HAWAII does it. Those who worry more about his Cons than his Pros, fear he will increase his powers and then rapidly WISCONSIN through a helpless House and Senate. And he remains unapologetic for all he does with many a well deserved sOREGON missing.

Right now, there’s not a human expert or compUTAH in the land that can predict the result. What are the MAINE issues? IDAHOle bunch of questions about the election. So I thought, ALASKA number of folks their opinions. Because if you want a straight answer, always ask the public and NEBRASKA politician!

In the east, VIRGINIA and her friend MARYLAND on the idea of giving the new girl a chance. In the SOUTH CAROLINA and her daughter further NORTH DAKOTA think the country’s going west whoever wins. This idea of going WEST VIRGINIA (their old room mate back East), entirely agrees with. In the west we spoke to old friends Harry Bosch and Harry Callaghan. These two ARIZONA private eye business and reckon Trump thinks he’s INDIANA Jones and needs a large leg of KENTUCKY fried chicken introducing where the sun don’t shine. North-east ways, there seems a quietly accepting hush at whatever happens oVERMONTANA and several other states while it was impossible to get anything for this article out of NEW HAMPSHIRE!

‘We ain’t going west, we’re goin’ SOUTH ‘DAKOTA (no relation) says - and she’s invited her southern buddy to ‘come NORTH CAROLINA’ (also no relation) and get as far away from the election hysteria as possible. In the wilds, we came across a couple, Mr and MISSISSIPPI, building a storm shelter for the next flood. They said they were too busy working with an ARKANSAS to worry about the next reigning President. 

The sporting community is still waiting to pick a team as they ask themselves what changes will American football, golf, basketball and TENNESSEE. The elderly and vulnerable are focussed on Covid protection, fearing that a MASSACHUSETTES the virus spreading again. The gay community, worried about a rise in OAKLAHOMAphobia are putting their karma in Kamala. Immigration is also a big issue. We spoke to asylum-seeking immigrant couple Neva and Sylvania who said they’ll vote for anyone prepared to PENNSYLVANIA a letter of citizenship and offer NEVADA right to stay.

More adventurous souls ,seeking rapid escape if the result is bad, have got in boats and RHODE ISLAND to island in the Caribbean seeking new homes. Beyond the borders, the Mexicans and Venezualans said they also want a NEW MEXICO wall to keep Trump out. Even timeless US icons are still veering one way and another. Mickey Mouse was all for Trump until his wife heard about Kamala and “MINNESOTA talked me around”

In both party camps, volunteers are busy WASHINGTON after ton of bunting for the victory parades.  Some of the more fanatical fans plan to knit a NEW JERSEY with their hero’s face on it. Realists are investing in waterproof goreTEXAS protection against whatever shower runs the White House next. If any of you really think either candidate will breathe fresh life and begin aNEW YORKidding yourselves.

In putting this article together IOWA debt of gratitude to the American voters, whatever state they may be in over the election. We all wonder, whether we’re stood in congress or sitting on the LOUISIANA other way for voters to choose POTUS? In summary, some say it’s much a COLORADO about nothing. Others fear a life of MISSOURI ahead. It’s enough to DELAWARE us all out. Why oh why oh WYOMING do they put us through this every four years? As I’m sure my good friends in Atlanta (who inspired this article) Katherine and GEORGIA’ll agree.

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