Four Seasons at Moss Towers

Moss Towers
Harrow

Dear Friends

Welcome to our 1st and only action-packed Christmas Round Robin.*
So, another year Zooms (quite literally) past. So much has happened, it’s hard to know where to begin.

Winter
Excitedly, as the year began, we heard of a star appearing in the East. But it turned out only to be Elton at the O2 - and it was extinguished by Covid anyway. Unperturbed, we celebrated our 25th Wedding Anniversary instead with matching Silver keys to symbolise the next 25 years in lockdown. I ordered an all singing, all dancing super warm Goretex coat for the cold snap but Amazon delivery was cancelled by the cold snap. To stay trim, I went on a whisky only diet and lost 4 days.

Spring
Merlette was forced by the unmasked rigours of Covid commuting to curtail her much loved teaching at school. But not before her Nobel Peace Prize shortlisting for getting peace from kids for unprecedented periods of up to 5 minutes. After a prolonged and exhaustive job trial, I was promoted to Chief Assistant Birdfeeder (Second Class). In brighter news, my new song Jab Me Baby One More Time made it to the final 12 of the UK Eurovision entry. Sadly, it was edged out by the catchy BOJO is a DOZO. My winter coat delivery was further delayed by Spring floods and the commandeering of all vehicles for a global celebrity body search at Easter time. Nobody ever found the body but millions found God instead.

Summer
Driven insane by lack of foreign sun, Merlette stowed away on Eurostar disguised as a French poodle, thanks to no haircut for 9 months. Unfortunately she fell asleep, missed France and awoke in Istanbul. There she was thrown into prison for being in possession of YouTube footage of cute kittens puffing on crack pipes. Luckily, she befriended a group of prison sparrows who airlifted her out to the Midnight Express whilst the guards were distracted by Turkish Delight. In her absence, I did a bit of freelance plea writing for Amnesty International and enjoyed a spot of hunger striking. On the hottest day of the year, my feck-off winter coat finally arrived but it was alas now too big.

Autumn
Merlette celebrated her Diamond Jubilee with a quiet garden party for small birds and mammals on the Moss Towers Estate. The day before this my mother hit 90 with a Ferrari skid pan experience and an instructors’ course in hot yoga. After an extensive search, I actually found somebody worse than me at golf to become my new fairway friend and weekly whipping boy. In even better news, my award-winning Autobiography ‘Famously AnonAMOSS’ is only 723 pages away from completion. Having received a voucher for my returned winter coat, I decided to re-deploy it as another coat-free lockdown approaches and get my Easter bonnet order off in time for on-time delivery.

Well, we hope your year was as apparently exciting as ours. We send you every good wish and positive vibes for Christmas and the coming year. And hope to catch up with you properly, in person and unmasked.

Love Al & Merlette xxx

*due to ongoing restrictions, some of the year’s events have been described through Artificial Replacement Simulation Exercise software. Or, in short, ARSE.