Rhapsody to a Bohemian
For my pal Mark, sung to you know what.
This is my real life
It’s not just fantasy
F**ked off to Bucks
And escaped from reality
Countrylife roots
Chess Valley in boots for me
I’m a part-timer, I need no sympathy
I spend time as I choose, guitars and booze
Watching Man United lose
Cook and walk and bird watch, doesn’t really matter to me, to me
Mozza, just killed a crow
Dragged it in though the cat flap
My bath’s full of guts and crap
Bugger! Lunch will have to wait
Cos’ now I’ve got to clean it all away
Bugger! Oooh ooh
Meant to make a mallard pie
So now we’ll have to eat at the Green Dragon
Have pint, have a Thai, so I suppose it doesn’t matter
Weekends, the wine’s uncorked
Dinner parties all the time.
Dropping off just after nine
Ignoring everybody, til it’s time to go
Gotta wake up, stumble home and face the wife
Bummer ooh (sleeping til the cab comes)
Should really stick to ale
Clare sometimes thinks I’ll never wake up at all
I see a glimpse of a cheetah on the run
Stalking deer, raising fear on the Okavango
Kruger and Savannah
Top safari planner, me!
Charging rhino (Charging rhino)
Swimming hippo (Swimming hippo)
Armadillo Buffalo
Magnifico!
I’m a civil servant, nobody loves me
He’s just a brethren, from a Pilgrim family
Spare him from pagan idol-a-try
Ron-al-do, Ron-al-do, why did we let him go?
Mourinho! No we will not let you go.
Mourinho! We will not let you go!
Wayne Rooney! We will not let you go
Will not let you go
Never never let you go
We’ll always love you so
Goal, goal, goal, goal, goal, goal, goal!
Oh Little Chalfont, Belfast Airport, 5 day working, let me go
My contract sets Mondays and Fridays aside for meee, for meee, for meee
So you think you can cheat on the dole and I’ll let it go by?
So you think you can beat me at badders and make me cry?
Well maybe, but I make the best gravy
Just gotta get out, just gotta get out and drink beer
Nothing really matters
Now that I’m six-tee
Nothing really matters
But Clare, beer, Man U, cats and Sky TV
Don’t care where my wind blows.