The Boy Called Daniel Who Came With No Manual

If you asked him to pull he would push
If you asked him to talk he would shush
When you thought he might smile, he’d frown
If you said pick it up, he’d put it down

If you said don’t rush, he’d run faster
Instead of ‘please Miss’ he’d say ‘ please Master
If you told him to work he would play
If you said’ get up’ he’d sleep all day

When it was time to eat food he would drink
For a bath he’d get into the sink
If you said ‘put your coat on’, he’d take it off
When you expected him to sneeze he would cough

When others went left he’d go right
When people said ‘Good Day’ he said ‘Goodnight’
If he had an itchy foot he’d scratch his head
When told ‘ stay in the house’, he’d go to the shed

Why Daniel did all this just wasn’t clear
Then one day his Mum had an idea
The only way for all this nonsense to stop
Was to take her  boy back to the shop

The man in the shop said “Ah yes, Daniel”
“Didn’t he come with an instruction manual?”
“Most little boys have a button to press
Just in case things get in a terrible mess”

So he showed them a picture of a boy on the telly
And there was the button, in the middle of his belly
“Just press it once and they’re as good as gold
And they’ll do exactly as they’re told.”

That’s why there’s a belly button on every child
To keep them normal an to stop them going wild
But the thing about Daniel (and don’t tell a soul)
Is that he also didn’t come with a remote control

So if he goes funny once in a while
Just pretend nothing happened and give him a smile!